This emptiness... what could it be?

Lately, I have been relatively falling into these situations where I just needed some time to think things through. I feel rather down inside for some reason, as if I have no worth being here. Sometimes I wished I knew what I could do. I wished I could've stop resenting this mental failure of mine. Perhaps its just me, starting the day hungry and seeing my mum cry.

Mother, Please don't cry...

I went to work in the afternoon. It seems rather slow and I felt as if everyone is against me. I wished I knew why am I doing here. All this confusions and the lack of brain stimulation bores me to death. I think my heart desires to be doing something else. Something different; a new beginning perhaps. All these useless thoughts making me feel rather exhausted. All this calamity never seem to end.

On the other side of things, Christophe is vomiting blood. I wonder what's wrong with him. He did send me a text asking me if I wanted to go out to town. Hence I did say yes but then he changed his mind, he fell ill. I was at work at the time, then other colleagues started talking to me about him. Chris this and that... I decided to send Chris a text about it. Telling him, "Don't trust anyone anymore and don't talk to anyone apart from me" coz I started realising that most people are starting to back stab each other. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut from now on and just work on my own league. I'm done doing favors. Anyway I keep wondering what this emptiness means. I think it's time for another holiday.