In Panorama View

The view out my Balcony

The View out my door...

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Another Chapter, a new beginning to an end...

It has been for quite some time since I have updated any news...

So here it is....

I have finally made it and fulfilled my longest dream that I ever had dreamed of...

I can't remember for how long I have dreamed about it but now that I am here within that dream.. I was quite disappointed... Yet I will keep on going to see the bright side of things.. I may have wanted it so badly, talked about it so dearly, and never stopped dreaming of being here in Japan... Sure it is summer now here in Japan, and dreading each and every moment of the heat... Pointless aggression towards the littlest things in life... I am quite certain that even if it might be all that I had imagined, or all that I dreamed about, it's all because of the heat that is getting to me... Yet I am quite sure when Autumn arrives, I'd be much more happier... For now, I struggle to get a good night sleep through this Summer...

"Summer Holidays"

I haven't been doing so much over the summer holidays... Running out of things to do, yet I can't complain about it much since I enjoy it at most occasions... Or maybe I have gone insane thinking that I am okay, sane and normal... Like looking at yourself in the mirror, thinking if it is actually your true reflection that you see... Or your true voice that you hear... It's been rather nice at nights these days, in comparison to previous weeks... Previous weeks ago, the air is so thick and wet to breathe, nights were like days... and Electricity bills were rising... ever since I received my latest bill, I made an oath not to use it... So I generally sleep with my door open wide... Luckily I am a light sleeper (I assume I am). Some nights, me and a friend would get our portable chairs and sit out on the top of the stairs between 6th and 7th floor and just sit there, for hours talking about absolutely nothing... At times, we decide to sit on the roof tops on the 7th floor and look at the shooting stars (A bit gay for two guys isn't it?!?) but at times like this, it is good to have some form of human contact, some reality apart from yours that you share with...

"Thoughts"

The song Never Ending by Life on Record would make much more sense to me when I come back to Melbourne and rock it out. Since the opening lyrics are "It's been a year too far too long, since we said goodbye.." I had never actually imagined that song would be such a coincidence....

"What had changed so far"

Well, honestly.. Nothing had changed... A slow personal growth being here... I feel as if I am not studying anything at all and before I continue, I had a dream today... I dreamed about cleaning my toilet excessively... and when I woke up, I checked if it had any meaning (I rarely dream about anything, even if I did, most of which it never occurred upon myself having a dream after waking up from sleep). It had meant that I am not using my full potential/ability where I am constrained, losing my inhibitions.. People come and go in your life and that is quite normal. Yet I can't seem to feel sad about friends leaving, they seem to feel sad about it, cry about it... I could not respond to any of their feelings... I had been through many "Down times" in life but never had to feel that form of sadness of saying goodbye. I had been through many days and nights without encountering any soul that I knew once, without being connected to the world, with nothing at all........... and from this, I can't seem to understand how people get really sad... Or maybe it's just me being "Cold" within... With a masked face, unintended emotions, a smile that seems so real, relentless and yet.... fake... Yet I still stand alone, with pride to what I have achieved thus far... and yet I still seek for more knowledge to sharpen these skills... (Ninja skills)